If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

It won’t change you if it doesn’t challenge you! This quote was very empowering to me, I have decided to change my life for the better and I realize that won’t be easy, I am up for the challenge. I have decided that I want to live a happier and healthier life style, and I want to be accountable every step of the way. I have struggled with finding my self motivation to start this process and I am hoping that sharing my journey and progress and hearing about your own will help me know that I am not alone.

challenge

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Closer than I was yesterday.

Well it’s been two weeks since I started this journey and I feel like I can do this! Yes, I’m exhausted but I have earned this sense of “worn out”. I used to sit around all day and feel tired, and question what I had done to be to exhausted but now I feel productive and know it’s all worth it in the end. 

After two weeks I stepped on the scale today and it said 246 pounds, 7 pounds lighter than two weeks ago! I know it’s not much but I did it. 

In the last 5 days I have walked a total of 22 miles. I understand it’s just walking, nothing extravagant but it’s more than I was doing before. Before I would sit there planning “routines” and saying I had a plan but this time I just got up and started walking.

Stop talking, start walking.

Well over the last two years I have done lots of talking about living a healthier lifestyle style and how I am going to do that. Well it’s time to put some action to those words. I am my biggest let down, I lack self motivation to change and I need to find the strength to live a happier and healthier life.

I can proudly say that this past week was the start of my summer camp for school agers and in three days I walked a total of 12.5 miles! I am so proud of myself, I would spend every second I could sitting down, “catching my breath”. Well now with this new position, I have a routine of walking everyday, I know it’s not much but it’s a start right?

I am now working on a meal plan, which for me is the hardest part, due to my battle with food addiction. I have to be disciplined with the eating and stick to my plan! And I am also working on building my strength workouts to go with the cardio of walking.

Baby steps, but I am working towards my goal, one battle at a a time!

Some days are just hard.

Some days are just hard.

Everyone has been through those days when you don’t want to do move, you don’t have to motivation to get up and face the day. Days are especially hard when you are fighting your personal battles, those others can’t see.

I battle a very unhealthy relationship with food, linked to my unstable emotions. I have worked very hard to identify my triggers and the foods that are linked to emotions, for example sweets paired with the desire for comfort, usually after failure or disappointment, or salty with the feeling of loneliness. I have also struggles with what to do, actions to take, when I know I have cravings, the first step for me was to identify cravings before it was too late and that is still a struggle for me. I still have problems identifying craving and binges until after they have happened.

I have found some comfort and support in anonymous dicussion boards found online, I have been able to open up about the day to day struggles I have and connect with others going through the same thing as me. I am thankful that there are others out there who have been through this struggle and have been able to conquer there battles and been there to help others through the struggle.

I look forward to tomorrow everyday, hoping that I will be better than I am today. Pray that I have the strength to stand my ground against my own demons and temptations.